


scruffy locks

by eliovian



Category: Breaking Bad
Genre: handjobs
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-15
Updated: 2017-09-15
Packaged: 2018-12-29 17:13:34
Rating: Mature
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,536
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12089613
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/eliovian/pseuds/eliovian
Summary: walter notices that jesse didn't have his beanie on.





	scruffy locks

**Author's Note:**

> this is a draft that i wrote because i was thinking about jesse pinkman's style evolution throughout the entirety of breaking bad and remembering during season 1+2 when he'd wear those horrible baggy hoodies and beanies but then there where those times where he'd have that whole scruffy boy look and it'd be cute and basically that's what walter is attracted by

In the amount of time it took for Jesse pull off his gloves, hands reaching up to palm through his hair annoyingly as he removed his goggles, Walter noticed finally that he didn't have a beanie on. He watched as Jesse plopped into a chair besides the chemistry station, exhaling as he stretched out, and Walter's mind flooded with thoughts;  _Where did it go?_   _Was he wearing it when he came to the lab this morning?_  Jesse yawned in sync with how occupied Walter became with his own musings; _but_ , Walter began, _it shouldn't even matter, should it?_  

He shook his head feverishly, resuming his routine of weighing the blue crystals on the scale, plopping it down into the tub, calculating the amount on his clipboard. Jesse sighed arrogantly, and the noise attracted Walt's attention to the boy sitting perched on the chair not to far from where he stood. The sight caused Walter to pause again, his gaze traveling from the top of Jesse's ruffled, blond, beanie-less locks, down to the hands that were twiddling mindlessly against one another, down to his shirt, dark and and not too over-sized. Walter swallowed, turning back to his work. 

There was something about the boy that was nagging him, deep into the caverns of his brain, and yet Walter found it difficult to pinpoint why. He pondered it as he set the last bag of crystals onto the pile; he pondered it as he shrugged off his gloves and apron, eyes going back and forth to Jesse's hair, to Jesse's shirt, to Jesse's thin fingertips. Walter pulled his jacket on over his shoulders, and he looked back at the boy, who was still seated lazily on the chair; albeit this time with an irritated expression on his face. "What are you looking at?" Jesse shifted towards him. "Do I have somethin' on my face?" 

Walter said only nothing, turning around to... look at something else besides the boy sitting behind him. He knew that that would only annoy Jesse further, and sure enough, Jesse's voice grew louder, interrupting the silence in the air. "Yo! Mr. White! _Hello?_ " Walter heard the sound of shuffling, and he turned around again to be met with Jesse's bothered expression. His arms were crossed. "Yo, Mr. White, you up in fuckin' la la land or somethin'? You heard me, didn't you?" Walter looked deep into his eyes. "Yes, of course, Jesse." He said.

Walter really didn't know what else to say, or what to do in that moment. He heard Jesse say something else, but he only stood there, preoccupied with the way Jesse's hair looked up close, and beanie-less. 

It looked.... soft. That was the only confirmation that Walter had come up with. And when Jesse moved his hands back down to his sides, Walter noticed he wasn't wearing a ridiculously baggy hoodie this time. His hair was unkempt, and his eyes looked deprived of sleep, but even so, Jesse looked... alright. Walter grew troubled at the thought; for he couldn't believe that this was posing such a significant effect on him, enough that he couldn't even pay attention to what Jesse was saying. Walter couldn't make any sense of it all. 

Jesse's voice drew him away from his thoughts, finally. 

"Yo, asswipe, you even listening to me? Look, you've been starin at me like I've got dicks for eyes or something." Jesse's voice had lowered in volume significantly. Walter guessed he was just tired now. Jesse reached up to rub at his eyes. "I, ah, honestly don't... care anymore."

Walter bit his lip. He shouldn't... tell the boy, should he? Walter pondered what he should say. 

"... Where's your... hat?" 

Jesse looked up, harboring a strange expression on his face. Walter couldn't tell if he was confused or annoyed at the question. 

"What?" Jesse blinked. 

"You know, the-" Walter made a motion towards his head, acknowledging the exasperated sigh in response. "I know what you're talking about Mr. White, but you're not makin' any sense." Jesse crossed his arms over his chest curiously. 

"You, ah... need to borrow it? That what you mean?"

Walter shook his head, both at the question and his own foolishness. He knew that it was futile to even begin to explain his thoughts to the boy. It was also kind of.... humiliating. How could he create an explanation that didn't completely spell out what he truly wanted to say at the moment; that Jesse looked alright today, and that his hair looked so soft that it might disintegrate under Walter's touch. That his shirt wasn't unnecessarily baggy, but big enough to where the smooth plane of his collarbone was exposed, along with his neck, free of any imperfection. Or that Walter never noticed how piercing Jesse's eyes were up close, and how he wanted to- 

Walter raised a hand dismissively. 

"Just... forget it." 

Walter looked at him. Jesse stared blankly in response. "Alright, weirdo." Jesse turned, eyeing the older man skeptically, but not bothering to question him further. He started to make his way towards the exit, shuffling his body in ordinary fashion up the metal stairway. Walter simply watched him, wondering if he should say something more. 

"Wait, Jesse." He heard himself say. Jesse ceased mid-step. Walter began to choose his words carefully.

"I just wanted to say, that... you look..." Walter furrowed his brow cautiously, sighing. "You look nice today." 

A beat passed, and Walter felt as though his feet were glued to the floor. 

Jesse looked visibly taken aback. He took down the stairs again- albeit rather quickly and louder in pace- before pausing just as he reached the final step. As he stopped, the air seemed to still. The expression on his face was hard to decipher. Walter wrung his wrist in his other hand, clearing his throat in hopes to relieve the silence. 

"I don't fucking get you, Mr. White. At all." Jesse moved towards him. Walter didn't respond. His mind was exhausting him, and eventually he wouldn't be able to control his actions. 

He reached up, almost instinctively, his hand nestling into Jesse's hair. 

Another beat passed. 

He was almost afraid that Jesse's locks were going to melt in his hands, for they felt almost too gentle between his calloused fingers. Jesse flinched, but said nothing. The silence grew deafening, and Walter felt as if he should pry his hand away, but instead he sifted both of his hands through Jesse's locks, careful as to not be too rough. He felt Jesse lean into the touch. They both acted like this was an everyday occurrence. 

Jesse still said nothing, his face void of any emotion. Walter wondered what he was thinking. 

Walter stopped, moving closer. A hand shifted down, fingertips moving across Jesse's collarbone. It was just as smooth, just as delicate as it looked. He continued to run a hand through Jesse's hair, while the other set to brush against his jaw, fingers moving towards his cheek, towards his mouth. Walter let his finger move across Jesse's bottom lip. Jesse seemed to be occupied with his own thoughts.

Walter removed his fingers from Jesse's hair, both of his hands going over to cup the sides of Jesse's face, and their eyes met. They both looked each other with equal want, with equal longing for one another. It was plain, decisive desire.

Jesse moved forward and kissed him, harshly. The sound he made when he did so, Walter felt his stomach turn; for it felt so weak, it felt like Jesse had collapsed into the man's arms, not knowing what else he should do. He wrapped his arms around Walter's waist and drew them closer. The kiss was messy, it was sloppy and didn't feel that great against Walter's mouth, but it didn't matter then. For this boy, he tasted like sorrow and pleasure and vulnerability. 

Walter pulled away. What was he to do now. Jesse looked back at him, his lips raw and his hair fussed and beanie-less. His eyes were glossy and his lashes were long.

Walter suddenly thought that Jesse looked the most beautiful than he'd ever seen him. The thought terrified him. He continued to say nothing, and his lips went to press into the crook of Jesse's collarbone, up to his neck, remaining there. He felt Jesse's adam's apple bob nervously underneath his mouth. Walter sucked hard upon Jesse's neck in response. 

"Mr. White." 

"Hm?" Walter removed his lips from Jesse's neck, gaze shifting to meet his. 

"Fuck you." Jesse kissed him again, hard enough to bruise. Walter relished in the sharp taste of Jesse's mouth.

Pulling away, Jesse's fingers began to fumble about needlessly onto Walter's clothes- finally stopping to grip onto Walter's shirt- and Walter thumbed at the edge of Jesse's hips. The skin was soft when Walter ran his hands underneath the boy's shirt, feeling around the smooth surface of his back and stomach. It was strange to see Jesse be so calm. Walter found it amusing, as well as the gasp that escaped Jesse's lips when he played with the hard peaks of his nipples. 

"You're noisy, Jesse." Walter said, his hands kneading into Jesse's skin, moving lower and lower, with the other whimpering at the contact. Fingers went to Jesse's pants zipper, lingering there. Jesse said nothing, only to draw his arms together around the older man's neck. 

Walter felt the other's breathing begin to soften, as though he were in hesitation. Walter moved his hand, albeit cautiously; for when he went to undo Jesse's button and zipper, the other seemed to be holding his breath. Walter paused. 

His hands brushed against the cloth of Jesse's underwear, and it was then that Walter noticed he was hard. That realization sent a shiver up the curve of his spine. 

Shifting uncomfortably against Walter, Jesse murmured into his skin, "Just... fucking touch me already, Mr. White."

Walter chuckled low in his throat. He pulled down the waistband of Jesse's underwear, brushing past the warm skin of his member. Jesse quivered instinctively at the touch. It was slow, and tender, the way Walt thumbed at the tip of Jesse's member; all the other could do was let a low whine leave his lips. It was like he was reduced to nothing but a trembling mess in the man's arms. 

Walter savored the control he felt over the younger man. A smirk traveled its way to his mouth; Jesse's eyes are closed now, lips agape and his grip around Walter's neck seemed to tighten when Walter's fingers moved up and down, faster and faster. As his pace quickened, Jesse's breathing did the same. 

How did they get into this situation, and more so- why was Walter enjoying it so much. He heard Jesse breathe harshly against him, his head thrown back, a wild flurry of locks, blond and beanie-less and beautiful. Walter's hand moved faster. He couldn't keep his eyes off the boy. 

"Shit, shit, shit.... fuck..." Jesse garbled obscenities and bit Walter's shoulder. Hard. Walter took this as a sign to slow down, fingers taking their time drawing upwards and downwards, and Jesse disorderly spouting out incomplete phrases and noises that sounded like melodies to Walter's ears. 

"Mr. White-I.. fuck.. shit!" Jesse kept his grip on Walter tightly for support as his body jerked against the older man's. 

Walter felt his hand become slicked in the other's cum. 

Their breathing seemed to be in sync. They stood there together, and it was like time had taken a break, only for a second.  

Jesse unhooked his arms from around Walter's neck, wiping off the line of saliva leaving his mouth. Walter removed his hand from the other's pants, and watched as Jesse hastily zipped up his fly. They didn't look at each other. Walter wiped his hands on his jeans. He'd have to remember to wash them separately from Skyler's laundry later. 

"I'm sorry, Jesse." Was all he could think to say. Jesse looked up, and they caught each other's gaze. 

"Sorry for what? Jacking me off? Fuck- I-" Jesse's eyes traveled hesitantly to Walter's crotch, noticing he was still hard. "You want me to return the favor? Or something?" Walter watched the boy's face; for he looked confused, and angry, and vulnerable, all at once. Jesse looked back at him again. 

"I don't get what the hell you're trying to do. Saying I look nice, touching me, touching my hair, letting me act like your bitch.  Shit." Jesse rubbed at his eyes frantically. "Worst part is, I fucking _enjoyed it!_ I let some old man jack me off and I liked it." Walter watched him pace back and forth, thinking aloud. 

"Jesse. Stop." Walter grabbed him by the shoulders. The boy gazed back at him, passive of any emotion.

The air grew still for a moment as they looked at each other. 

"I need a smoke." Jesse said, finally, shrugging off Walter's hands and digging about in his pockets, producing a pack of cigarettes. Walter observed as Jesse emptied out his pockets, appearing to be looking for something, before shifting his attention back to the older man. 

"You got a lighter?" He said simply. 

Walter nodded. He pulled the metal lighter from his own pocket; a flame erupted from the tip of it, and Jesse put a stick in his mouth, before aiming to catch the flame at the edge of his cigarette. He breathed in, exhaling a line of smoke into the atmosphere. Walter couldn't help but think that he looked beautiful, still; eyes red and puffy, hair disheveled, cigarette resting between slender fingers as he took a hit, and another. 

"Mind if I have one?" Walter asked. Jesse paused mid-smoke. "You sure, Mr. White? Your wife probably doesn't want to smell smoke on you, you know- you dying, and all." Walter sighed in response. "It doesn't matter." 

"Alright. Don't say I didn't warn you, douche." Jesse tossed a cigarette his way, and Walter proceeded to burn the end of it with his lighter. As he took his first hit, the smoke seemed to travel too quickly into his throat, and he coughed. Jesse took this time to laugh at the misfortune. That was the only noise that took the air before it grew quiet.

They both stood there, in silence, taking hits one after the other. Walter didn't know what else to say, and he wondered if Jesse felt the same. 

"I gotta go home. You should too." Jesse took what was left of his cigarette, plopping it onto the ground before crushing it beneath his foot. Walter decided to mimic his actions. "Your wife's waiting for ya." Walter found that amusing. 

"Why do you suddenly care about my wife?" Walter placed his hands into the pockets of his jacket. The boy bit his lip, moving towards Walter once again. He tugged at Walter's shirt collar, drawing their bodies closer. 

"She deserves better, probably." Jesse pulled at Walter's collar, melding their lips together in a chaste kiss. "Later." And his footsteps retreated, back upon the metal staircase, up to the door, and Walter watched as it shut behind him. 

Walter exhaled, looking down at his crotch. He really needed a cold shower. 

 

  

**Author's Note:**

> i was going to make this angsty but i decided to leave it on a kind of? high note, lol
> 
> 11/25/17 slightly edited


End file.
